Obsessively Compulsively Apologetic

“i am so sorry”
i say for the umpteenth time
i want to stop apologizing
but i am scared
that you hate me now
for stepping on your toes
so i am sorry
please do not hate me
i want you to like me
i need them to love me
and i am sorry
that i feel so inadequate
that i need constant reassurance
“it’s no big deal. do not worry about it”
“it isn’t?”
because i said i am sorry
i am sorry that i do not feel like you are over it
i am sorry that i do not feel forgiven
i am sorry for not feeling worthy of your forgiveness
so i am sorry
for saying “sorry” so many times
but would you please forgive me
because i am sorry
for being me
and i am sorry
that i am not sorry
for being me
sorry.

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