The allure of bad boys

Five or so years ago I read (I’m not sure if it was a Jeffery Archer or David Baldacci) this novel. One of the reviews was “*insert book’s name* grabs you by the balls and doesn’t let go until you are done.” And I have always wanted to use that line. People think it is weird because I am not a boy. But then again, when I have had a bad day, I say that day sucked balls, so no, I do not think it is weird. So finally I have found something that I could say grabbed my attention by the balls and didn’t let go until I was done. The Originals! This is a TV series. And I know I have previously stated that I do not like this genre but man, have you heard Klaus speak? Have you felt the vibe Elijah gives off? And have you seen Marcel shirtless? And before you go judging me for being shallow, I will have you know that I am a very picky person. I am one of those people who watch shows for the dialogue. If the script of a show does not appeal to my intelligence, I’m not going to watch it, I do not care how good the story line is. Basically, a good script for me should have loads of humor, sarcasm, smooth dialogue, cryptic conversation. Speaking of cryptic conversation, how good was Revenge? Like Emily and Victoria almost never meant what they said on the surface. There was always a hidden meaning, a malicious intention. They were the best.

Back to The Originals. So today I was on my way from class thinking about all sorts of things and then all of a sudden my mind cleared up and the only thought left was “ oh my god, I love Klaus.” It was so profound I had to stop and catch my breath. I’m telling you, it was like an epiphany. A few seconds later, I realized that this is very ironic because there are very few things I hate more than I hate bad boys. I detest bad boys. One time someone told me that deep down, every girl is attracted to bad boys. It took all of my strength not to slap them. Those of you who are familiar with The Originals know that Klaus is not the nicest person alive. He is a jerk. A narcissistic, arrogant, merciless, unforgiving bastard. So why am I in awe of him? Simple, that man opens his mouth, and speaks beauty. And seeing as I am female, how could I not love such a smooth speaker? Klaus is the kind of person that will make you forgive and forget all his transgressions by just uttering a word. And it doesn’t help that he has such a sly smile. Klaus is the kind of person that will admit to killing someone he didn’t kill, so that he can get people to fear him, because he has this God complex and he seeks to control utterly everything and everyone. At this point, you are probably like, “get over yourself Klaus.” And then Camille, some girl he fancies, will confront him because she helplessly believes that Klaus can be saved, ranting about how she is sure that Klaus did not kill this guy and Klaus being the beautiful jerk he is, actually tells her the truth.

You know when people admit paradigm shifting truths, it is a little ugly because of all the emotion and crying? I mean, moments like this are anything but poetic. Not Klaus. Klaus will say things like, “Of course I did not kill him. I only admitted it because I need to control them and the only way I can do that is if they fear me because I am the only one that can save them. A better man would save you with a lie, but I am not that man, so I will leave you with a burden of a truth no one will believe.” At this point, you are like, he is not so bad. He actually has some good. Then he goes off and slaughters a whole village. So yes, rationally speaking, Klaus is not good for any one. I am sure if I met a real life version of Klaus he would get on all my nerves and kill me with me with a migraine. But Klaus has a messed up past going in his favour. I mean, he was raised by a dad that did not love him and spent all his life trying to kill him. He has spent his whole life fleeing. Basically, he is damaged. And I think that is why I like him so much. Because besides his smooth tongue, he is broken and he sort of needs someone to love him hard enough to fix him. And isn’t that a little bit of all of us? Don’t we all need a little fixing? Don’t we all need someone who will eternally and irrationally believe in our salvation?

And so maybe when people say all girls are attracted to bad boys what they really mean is that all girls are suckers for people they can fix. And I honestly cannot argue with that. And if that person happens to come with a smooth tongue, then by all means, let him in. Because people like that will give you great conversation. They will give you rawness, emotional honesty. People like that, if you stick around long enough, will let you in so deep and as dangerous as that is, there is nothing more fulfilling than someone completely trusting you with their bare soul. I know because I’m a little bit like that. I’m not a jerk, but it is no secret that I can be difficult. You want proof? Klaus’ full name is Niklaus. So his mother refers to him as Niklaus instead of the conventional Klaus. So one day Klaus tells her, “You refer to me by my full name as though we are familiars. I find it insulting.” And I remember thinking, to hell with courtesy and being polite, I would totally use that on someone.

For the cat loving women

Oh ye cat lovers. Quick question, how do you do it? Actually, that is a general question to all animal lovers. Don’t get me wrong, I do not hate animals. As a matter of fact, I am compassionate towards animals, just not enough to adopt one. I mean, I would adopt one if it was a guarantee that it would save me from the fires of hell, but even then, I would need time to think about it, ask for alternative bargains, revisit my wavering stand on the concept of divinity and related institutions such as hell, then left with no options I would get one. Why you ask? To which I reply with a slow down, I know I may have depicted myself as this overly emotional human being, but a girl got to draw the line somewhere. I can’t love everything. Simply put, animals and I have just never clicked. Plus, I have trust issues. My theory is, as domesticated as animals have become, they were once wild. And for that, I just cannot trust one. I know it sounds stupid. You could say they have adapted to living with humans but then again, human beings have been evolving for thousands of years, but look at us still blowing up buildings and killing each other. So yeah, if push comes to shove, I would rather adopt a snake. At least with that, I know not to expect goodness.

Let me get to the reason for this post before you crucify me. Over the course of my lifetime, I have noticed that I get much less spite when I say I’m not a cat person as compared to when I say I am not a dog person. I didn’t think much about it at first until one day I was just lazing about in my bed, letting my feminist brain wander and I realized that conventionally, males are dog people while females are cat people. Now there is nothing wrong with that. Only, it is somewhat okay to hate cats but a grave sin to hate dogs. Anyone see, where I am going with this? I know it sounds far-fetched, but that right there is an indication of how sexist our world is. And I know it sounds like I am being an irrational male-hating female, but I of all people know that it is those seemingly trivial things that shape how we view things. In a small way, it conditions people to think that being female is not as grand as being male. It is like this kids television show in Kenya that has a segment called “hot numbers” and “cool words.” It is an educative segment and all but I always wonder, why is math associated with heat, something that makes us uncomfortable while the languages is associated with comfort. Don’t you think in a way we are conditioning our kids to think that math is much harder than the languages?

So while I may not be much of an animal person, I am a firm believer in the equality of the genders. And for that, I owe it to women everywhere, especially my roommate who loves her cat, misses her kittens and what not. I may not know the feeling of being attached to an animal but I do know that just because that animal is a cat and you happen to be an unmarried woman doesn’t make you weird, or incapable of attracting a husband and starting a family, which apparently is what being a woman is about. I know that having a cat doesn’t mean you are lonely and, as Mitchell in Modern Family would put it, have a child hole shaped in your heart and so you are looking to cram a cat in there. And staying on Modern Family, there is this episode Alex asks, “so smart boys, go for dumb girls, and dumb boys go for dumb girls. So what do smart girls get?” to which Phil replies, “cats mostly.” While, it is funny and I still laugh about it, I’m just going to say that if you are a smart woman, don’t ever for one second think that you need a man to complete you, to validate you as a normal member of society. Because you are enough. And a soft spot for cats does absolutely nothing to take that away.