so i promised myself that i would never use this blog as an avenue to make people understand me better, but let’s face it, what really are blogs for?? but i feel like i owe it to my kind( and by my kind, i mean introverts), to explain just how our world works. this is because i have had a rough few days, and i wont lie, i am feeling super emotional right now. i cannot believe how biased and unfair people can be, just because of my personality type. so this is just a few of the things i think people should know about introverts before they get all judgmental and harsh. and i think its sad that i have to write this at this day and age when you can look up literally anything in the internet. so how don’t people understand that being an introvert is as good, if not better, a personality type as ambiversion or extroversion. so here we go.
we thrive in low- key environments. by this, i mean that we are energized by being alone or with very few people. crowds make us sick and exhausted. i for one love solitude. its time to think and get lost in the adventure that our intelligent brains are. for me, there is nothing more annoying than my mum shouting at me to go sit with everyone else in the living room when i was having the time of my life in my room just staring into space or fantasizing about stuff that i wont tell you. but yeah, i daydream a lot. but it is in those moments of solitude that i write great blog posts, or develop controversial opinions about a lot of things, lets say, religion. speaking of which i find it close to impossible to place unconditional belief in the existence of an unseen being. but i digress. my point is, we are most productive when we are alone, and i think everyone is.
what on earth is small talk?? how do you chat about the weather and latest fashion trends, or that party you went to?? seriously, how does that work?? small talk drives me crazy. so i just dont indulge those. and i know this is a bad habit, but i usually just zone out. and most introverts will. this is because we are deep people. we’d rather talk about the objectivist philosophy or that Dan Brown novel that a lot of my pretentious christian acquaintances condemned me for reading. but thats just me. all i am saying is, if you want to spark a conversation with an introvert, please talk about interesting, intelligent things. stuff that the world actually cares about. or else, you are going to think we are disinterested or arrogant because we will just go quiet or have a bored expression expression on our face. and then youll think we are stuck up. but we really are nice people.
we do not hate people. on the contrary, we love people. i believe everyone is unique in their own way. in fact, we are very observant and we notice even the tiniest details in people. a case example, is i can recognize my friend by the size and shape of their nails. but i guess that’s easy because i have very few friends. i can almost count them on one hand. and it is not because, i do not like having friends, i just like them in extremely small doses. and it could also because i have to think we have an intense emotional connection to even consider you my friend. a lot of times, i just have people i know. and dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with these people. i just happen to take my time to feel anything at all. so i am not indifferent because you are a horrible person, i just don’t feel very safe opening up to people. but we are the best friend anyone could ask for. we are superb listeners and we wont interrupt you until you are done ranting about your problems and you can be sure that when we finally speak, we have thought it through. but most importantly, we are as loyal as it gets. we know how hard it is for us to get to a point when we can comfortably call someone a friend, and we will therefore do anything not to screw it up.
social events aren’t exactly our cup of tea. yeah, we love dressing up and going out every once in a while, just once in a while. only a lot of times, i want to leave as soon as i get there. you see, social gatherings come with strangers and with strangers come misunderstanding, and with misunderstanding comes emotional and mental exhaustion. and as any normal person, we need to get our energy back afterwards. only we do that by staying away and out of reach for days or even weeks on end. or we will be hanging out, having a grand time, and then i run out of energy. i will go quiet and probably zone out. i will have a blank expression on my face. and then i stop trying to respond to every question that is directed to me, and i no longer have the energy to express the right kind or even quantity of emotion needed to sustain a comfortable conversation. and then, i will get out and go for a walk or just head home to sleep or read a book, or write a blog post. you know, just be alone.or if i stay, i will put my earphones and listen to music, or read a blog, you know, just pretend that all of you dont exist. though quite frankly, i wont be pretending, i get so lost in my bubble, you stop existing. please understand that you did not say anything wrong. when i am quiet, i am not upset or angry or hurt. so please stop asking me why i am suddenly all silent. it is exasperating. and when we get awkward and act all detached and alone, just give us some time, we’ll be back after a little recharging.
we love talking to people. just get me interested, and i wont shut up for days. if i am not talking to you, it is not because i am shy, or socially inept, i just have no idea what to say to you. a lot of times people say things and i just look at them hoping they dont expect me to say anything. but when i start speaking, thou shall not interrupt me. wait till i am done before you contribute your two cents. and a lot of times, we break between talks to collect our thoughts, before we go on. so when we start speaking and pause mid thought, it is not a chance for you to jump in and try to fill in the awkward silence. in fact, we don’t find the silence awkward at all. the best you can do, is wait for a few minutes for us to finish our thoughts and speaking, in that order. but our most annoying habit, is how we ignore phone calls or texts. first, my phone is always on silent because a buzzing or ringing phone gives me anxiety. its the dreaded sound of someone seeking to engage in small talk. and a lot of times, i don’t feel prepared to chat. so a lot of times, i just sit there, pretending to debate on whether i will pick it up or not. i say pretend because i have usually decided pre-hand that i wont receive it. but i understand that communication is an essential part of being human, so i usually end up in front of the mirror pep talking myself into calling you back, as well as rehearsing what to say to you. and then finally, at strange hours of the night, i will call you back and hope against hope that you don’t pick up. and about those texts, i promise to write myself a note to text you back, and ask you whats up, hows school and who you dating, though candidly speaking, all i wanna do is switch off my data connection and watch a documentary on national geographic. and in the spirit of being candid, there are people i love talking to. and occasionally, i call them and we talk for hours.and yeah, for those people, i text back in a matter of seconds. and i hate saying goodnight to those people. so yeah, you just have to know what buttons to push.
and finally, we are very in touch with our feelings and emotions. i am a very intelligent girl and i realize it would make more sense to use my brain to make decisions but i just don’t want to.it does not feel real enough. a lot of my decisions are based on how i feel about something. and i hate it when people tell me not to let my emotions cloud my judgement. a lot of those times, i get the urge to tell them if i did not let my emotions cloud my judgement we wouldn’t be friends in the first place. but don’t get me wrong, a lot of my decisions are rational and reasonable. and i can confidently say that i do not speak out of anger. a lot of times, whatever i say to someone when angry or hurt, is the same thing i could have said when i am happy and calm. but almost all the time, we walk away. why? because we need time to process our emotions. so do not get mad when we do not ant to resolve that argument we just had. we are not being childish, or holding a grudge, we just need time away to think and decide how we feel and how we want to go about it. and that i believe is the best way to resolve conflict.
but you know, we have our flaws too.but it would be nice for people to understand where we are coming from before they decided they didn’t like us.though if you are anything like me, you wont even notice that they don’t like you, unless they are spectacularly cruel about it, as some people have been to me these past few days.
5 thoughts on “of introverts”
Very very true…
I couldn’t have said it better!
true dat…you are so right on this one.
“…..what on earth is small talk?? how do you chat about the weather and latest fashion trends, or that party you went to?? seriously, how does that work??….” Lol small talk is so easy. Just loosen up and tell her you like her shoes =)