The Friend Zone

The friend zone. this phrase rolls differently on my tongue. it tastes strange, unfamiliar, stranger. not because because i have no experience with its implication. actually i do not; at least not according to me. let me tell you why.

first, there is nothing more precious to me than friendship. i do not understand why people make it seem like a bad thing. just because somebody cannot be more than a platonic companion does not make you less of a does not you to a lower rank in their chain of importance. because people do not rank the people they care about, i know i do not. and if the greatest measure of love is giving up your life for someone, you couldn’t possibly tell me that there are people you’d give half a life and others that you’d give the whole package. so no, people do not friend zone people. if someone ever refers to you as their friend and mean it, trust me it does not get better than that. because lets face it, if i cannot see myself in a relationship with you, it goes without saying you can never be my friend. so before you go and complain or cry your eyes out because whoever won’t see you as more than a friend, maybe you should ask yourself, are you even friends in the first place? because i know if i do not like a guy, i won’t even bother saving his number. so tell me, would this guy be right in claiming that i have friendzoned him? because as far as i can tell, i have just forgotten his existence. and friends do not do that to friends. and if i liked a guy who never liked me back, honestly he hasn’t friendzoned me. because as far as i know, my guy friends care about me. they listen to me when i rant about my useless problems, they open up to me with theirs, they make my life a little brighter, a whole lot brighter. and would this guy who did not like me do any of that stuff? i do not think so. so my point is, friendship is everything, it is not an in between between an erotic relationship and nothing. no people, it is not.

second, there is no limit to what you can and cannot do when you are someone’s friend. you know with the exception of having sex or being inappropriately intimate. but then again, that would depend on your moral standing. plus we all know principles is a personal concept. you decide what you will and will not stand for. if banging every person you set your sights on is okay with you, i won’t judge you. no seriously, i won’t. i realize i sound judgmental, so i am assuring you that i won’t judge you because there is just no way to write this without sounding judgmental. but i digress. what i am trying to say is, could we just stop stupidity; this annoying list of i cannot do this for my friend because that is something i would only do for someone i am having sex with. first, it is human to be kind and helpful. you should help someone whether or not you will get laid later. and if you are only going to help someone because you are going to undress them later, then how about you just don’t. second, sex is not a transaction, it is not a reward, it is not payment for a job well done. it is a show of affection between two consenting people? okay, so i am not an expert at this topic. people have sex for whatever reason. but the key word here is consent, otherwise its just rape. so you want to help your friend move, wash his dishes, pick up up his clothes from the dry cleaners? that does not make you a cheap, desperate whore. unless you are. because if this guy is your friend, he will return the favor. he will one day do your dishes, pick up your clothes from the dry-cleaners. notice, i did not say have sex with you?

so can we please stop this madness. can we please not make fun of that guy with a female best-friend, calling him a wimp, teasing him for not being able to seal the deal with her. because girls do not exist to be fucked. and friendships are not limited to gender. and would we not make the life of this female miserable? just because i am close with this one guy does not mean i hate women, does not mean i am not pretty enough to be his girlfriend. it simply means that in that one person, i have found someone i can trust, someone i can embarrass myself in front of. someone i can share a bed with for a whole freaking night and he wont touch me inappropriately. someone who loves me for me and not because he thinks he will one day get lucky with me. someone i can risk to entertain this illusion of forever with. that one person i do not ever have to worry about breaking up with. and if we ever drift apart, it would be because of different priorities, or distance, because life got in the way. and not because the sex sucked, or because my parents did not like him, or because we just did not feel the same way anymore. and that is hard to find on this shitty ass world.

so if you have that one person that this post reminded you of, don’t ever give up on them don’t ever let them go. and don’t ever let this two words “friend zone” define your relationship with them. and you why that is, that shit does not exist. because while girls and boys will come and go, friendships are forever. plus do you ever think, if men were to rate who is more important to them, top on that list would be the people that they are not sexually attracted to. like their mothers and sisters. and even if their wives made that list, it is because above everything else, their wives are their friends?


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