i don’t know how true this is, but lately, i have been feeling like i am in a really good emotional space. don’t misunderstand me, I’m still what most people would call a wreck, but for some reason, that doesn’t bother me. i have actually gotten to the point where my thoughts don’t bother me. while previously, i would do whatever it takes not to think, these days i look forward to Friday nights, to being alone in the house, to getting lost in my thoughts. and here is the best part, i no longer get the urge to jump out the window. and if that isn’t happiness, i don’t know what is. see, here is the thing with happiness, if you do not accept it in small doses, you are bound to overlook it. so i made a “bucket list.” and the only thing was to note those little things that made me feel happier. and i found lots. lets see:
happiness is finding the right shade of red lipstick. the kind that that makes you want to just stay in your room and stare at your lips. the kind that my friend thinks makes me look like Lorde. that shade that makes that random guy on the street complement your lips.
happiness is that shopkeeper you haven’t seen in two semesters remembering your name.
happiness is finding a favorite cookie store. and better yet, finding a cookie store with an attendant that gives you extra cookies because he thinks you look beautiful.
happiness is being in a crowded hotel trying to get your breakfast and of all people, the attendant asks for your name. and maybe I’m being a little cocky, but you could tell he wanted to ask for more than just your name.
happiness is being in the house alone on a Friday night, just you, a healthy amount of alcohol, french fries, good music and a hilarious comedy show.
happiness is being able to stop yourself from texting that guy you like. and even better, the realization that you are okay with whatever is going on, or not going on for this matter.
happiness is getting random “i love you” texts from your best friend. i don’t know, there is something about having a guy best friend that makes you feel like all boys could go screw themselves, like you got all the love you could possibly need from a guy.
happiness is gradually getting comfortable in your own skin. accepting yourself for who you are. not making excuses or apologies for doing things the way you do them. it is not trying too hard to seem likeable and fun. happiness is eventually trying to stop fixing yourself. understanding that your broken pieces are what fit perfectly to make you who you are. happiness is not being able to sleep because your thoughts about your miserable life just won’t let you, but for some reason, loving that life and not wanting to trade it for the world. happiness is in those cold, lonely, early mornings; when you feel like you are loosing your mind and still being okay with it because you finally understand that an essential part in getting your peace of mind is losing your mind.
happiness is when you stop fighting your life and just live it. let time do it’s thing. at least it is for me.