Whatchamacallit..these laughs maybe??

So i came across this post. quite frankly, i don’t know what to call it.so lemme back up a little. i like to think of myself as one of the very few “real” people left roaming this messed up habitat we insist on calling home, earth is what my science teacher called it. by “real” i mean i have a life outside my phone, or whatever device that offers connection to the internet. a case in example, is i can spend a whole day without checking my phone. or even when i am checking my phone, i am not on those networks that are anything but social. i hear they are called social networks. i am mostly reading a book online or reading a blog. or my favorite pass time,www.smartphowned.com. those texts are as hilarious as they are made up.(are they?)and yeah, i read books(hard copy) and rarely text when i am with people who i have deluded myself into believing are my loved ones. my point is, i like to pretend i understand that people are more than their phone numbers and a little eye contact every now and then won’t kill me, or worse still, make me blush. but i digress. and no explaining done, but that’s the beauty of writing, freedom to not know where you are going.

But truth be told, i live inside my phone. as it would happen, i stumbled upon this piece of internet junk.i quote, ” dude, if she didn’t make you wear a condom, then she didn’t make the other guys wear it too” now, i realize there are so many things wrong with this piece of internet junk. in fact, anyone who has been to a Kenyan high school will tell you this statement can be analyzed complete with themes, character traits, setting and stylistic devices. one of those themes would be the place of women in society. and i realize this is a far more important topic to talk about, but i just won’t. here is why; i found this statement too funny. in fact, i laughed so hard after reading it, i had to sing myself a lullaby to get my formerly sleepy eyes back to that status. but then again, i have been told on numerous occasions that my sense of humor is very unorthodox.

so here is why i laughed, laughed and laughed some more..

1. this guy has entrusted something as vital and personal as his sexual responsibilities to another human being. please tell me you find this funny too. i do not know why i imagine these two people in this said carnal relationship as strangers. which makes this even funnier. it is the same level of funny as when i heard this guy advising his friend not to marry his long-time girlfriend because she just couldn’t cook. he was like, “my guy, do not wife that bitch.” now i could go on and on about why i find this funny but i want to believe i have already explained that. but in case you did not get it, why would you entrust your well being, the fundamental process of nourishing your body and soul to another being? but the reason i found this funny is that it reminded me of a totally unrelated situation. here we go;

one early morning in a bus headed to town. an officer of the city council enters the bus to inspect, or whatever they do. and since we are near the CBD and there is traffic, he doesn’t alight. so he keeps hovering in the bus and good lord.his breath. his breath. good lord. was horrible. so he asked for my ticket and halfway through the first syllable, i was convinced i had gone blind. you know when something smells so bad, you can(not) literally see the smell. so imagine the state of my health when he was done. ladies and gentlemen, i might be exaggerating, but i have reason to believe i might have gone into cardiac arrest.
this experience, traumatizing as it was, still makes me laugh. again, my unorthodox sense of humor.
and now i get the correlation between this three instances, people who just won’t take care of themselves. and i find that funny.

2. On second thought, these coitus-engaging mammals might be acquainted. so assuming they are, i am assuming this instance is their first without those rubber things that we are told could break and expected to believe are a source of protection. you know what i find funny, is how people can take an act of trust( read screwing an undeserving bastard without a condom) and turn it into words only worth writing on the wall of shame. and, i cannot resist the urge to add, that what i really think though is that the above stated act of trust, is an act of stupidity. and stupidity makes me laugh. and you know what makes me laugh even harder, is when some virus or those little disease-causing organisms they learn in biology find free passage into your system, we are supposed to act human and sympathetic and tell you it is going to be okay. no sir,(and for those of you who do not know me, the title sir applies to both genders for me) i will give you a blank(read accusing stare) then go my way and laugh the sleep out of my system.

Writer’s bonus;
here are more of the things that tickle my funny bone
-people burning to death because they just had to harvest oil from that truck that overturned
-people getting hit by cars because that footbridge fifty metres away is just too much work.

so maybe i am just insensitive, or perhaps i have a dark sense of humour, but things like this; make.me.laugh.

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