It is tradition to have resolutions at the beginning of every year. I have long learnt not to make any promises to myself. Not the ones I am almost positive I will break. But here is a new concept; hope.so I am going to dare and hope and see how that goes.
I hope this year is the year I find myself (or at least the parts that I feel I miss the most.) I hope it is the year I am content with the person I have become, the woman I am growing up in to. I hope it is the year I defeat my demons, or at least make peace with them. I hope it is that year that I feel differently. Feel more than just pain and doubt. I hope it is that year that I crave for more than just peace of mind.  Maybe it is that year I will learn to forgive. Maybe it is that year I will stop fighting my ghosts. Perhaps, I might learn to live with them. Maybe it is that year I let some things go. Maybe it is that year I will let go.  I hope it is that year I live in the present.
And I really do hope that it is that year that I experience the feeling of fresh emotion. Of feeling something new, something different. Maybe it is that year I want to laugh and cry at something different. Maybe it is that year I miss someone else. Maybe it is that year that I hate someone else. It is definitely that year that I want to envision my life with different people. For a change, get disappointed with a different lot. Maybe it is that year that I try something new. Try someone new. Maybe it is that year I lose myself even if it just for a night. Maybe it is that year I forget the consequences. Maybe it is that year I let my guard down. Maybe it is that year that I trust. Maybe it is that year that I will be open to a different opinion, a different way of life, a different someone.
And also, I hope it is that year a curse a little less. I don’t know, there is something graceful about people who don’t curse as much. And maybe there is a part of me that wants to be a lot more graceful. Maybe.
So here is to 2015. To making mistakes and living life. To loving and getting hurt. To being sincere. To being human. To finding the parts of ourselves we secretly hope exist.